Empty Nesting!

Well my nest is empty not sure I am OK with it yet or not. Started to get bored and not sure that a job is the best thing to stop that..but I started to look and have a few options...Playing those out now and just trying to see where they lead.
I started a juice fast 9 days ago. That is really a WOW in my mind. But lost 15 lbs so far. So I am drinking and drinking and drinking. Not the best diet in the world but the one that will help with my Lymphedema. I have been fighting this for the summer and really want to see results. I hope that some day soon I can ride on a airplane again and start my empty nesting travel.
Update on Family...
Ken is working hard and still did not use all his vacation days last year. Yep pretty sure his company loves him. He likes to work? Not sure maybe just likes getting away from me during the day? Hey maybe I need to put more thought into this work schedule of his. jk. He is a good man and he supports his family very good. He has lost 25 lbs on juicing and eating healthier this past summer. Good to him. He thinks my fast is the best thing since candy. Really did I just say candy? Boy what I would do for candy right now. jk maybe not.:)
We are planning out the rest of the year and what we may want to do now that the nest is empty. He decided to take Nic and go Elk hunting this year. That should be a good time for them.
Chrissy... Well she is as always cooking and working. That girl loves to cook. I must say she is really good at it. The first few days of my fast she would come over at lunch time and say." are you done with that yet? Let's go to lunch" then after a few more days she said "You keep going don't break it now" Such a saint I tell you.:) She is busy with all sorts of goings ons but she still has time for her Mommy.
Nicholas....Moved to Wyoming. That was a good thing and and hard thing all at the same time.
He will be back as he does loves his Mom and he is a bit of a Mamma's Boy. I am sure the Holidays will bring him back. I am not sure any of my kids could miss December at my house. He is helping my brother build his new home and it should be done in a month so I am looking for him to call me up and say "I am coming home" This will happen. I keep telling my self anyways. But he is loving Wyoming and all it has to offer. What is has that Utah doesn't not sure....
Taylor...Started working a new job, going to school, and really just being Taylor. He is doing so much better then he was. Taylor has come around and really decided what he wanted out of life. He is my baby and baby him we did. He seems all grown up now and not sure that is what I want. Where is the days of the Little ones? They grow up so fast enjoy them now.
The things we learn after the nest is empty.
Grand kids,, What to Say. THEY ARE GREAT! LOVE THEM!..Really I see them as my bonus in life for raising a family. I have to say they are so cute, funny, and cute some more. I get to spend lots of time with the kids and for this I will always be thankful.
Life is great after empty nest I guess. Ken loves that all my attention is on him.. Little does he know that I am Mothering daily and helping the kids out when I can. But he is the focus now. I was wondering when do I get to be the focus? Really moms are always giving..I think we need more then a day a year to reward, thank, and love us. Yes I think I will be working on Mothers Day Month soon. That opens up so many doors. and I think the bank vault too. jk..maybe not.. but we will see where that leads us.
Thanks to all of you that make our life great and hope that we continue to make this a happy year of renewal and rewards.

Summer Fun

So Summer is off to a slow warming again. Wanted to go boating for the Fathers Day Weekend and Ken's Birthday. That did not happen but this weekend looks like a keeper. Planning a Yuba trip and hoping it is a great time. My Lymph edema is still acting up. In treatment at the UofU hope they can get something worked out. I am really having a hard time with all of this. But chin up others have worse then me. I need to be thankful.
Summer Field Trip Club starts this week. Excited for that. It should be a fun time and summer.
I am living in Salina for the Summer that is a fun place to be. Boating, camping. hiking, riding ATVs, fishing, and all sorts of outdoor sun. I really like my ward and I think that I have a new look out on small towns. It has been nice to be out of the city! For Ken too. The kids come down lots and that has been a fun fun time. What quality time you get when they stay the weekend and you are together the whole time. I love being out of town in more ways then one.
Tell the weekend and I can post some pics...Bye:)

I thought that I was in the clear the day I left the Hospital

I had surgery back in April and I felt so great when I left the hospital. but like always if there is going to be something that goes wrong it will be me. A day after I left the hospital I noticed that my left upper arm was swollen . I have been battling a 3 month battle to find out what is wrong. I finally go to a specialist that tells me I need a UofU specialist and that she cannot help me. so this Thursday I get to meet with my new specialist and find out how my life is going to change.
3 weeks ago I found out that I have Lymphedema in my arm. I think I cried for 3 more days and wondered how the Dr could be so dumb as to hurt my arm. Really a blood pressure cuff that is to small can ruin you for life. I would think that Dr's are smarter then that . But I guess not. So I get to have lymphedema for the rest of my life .
I know that I will rise above this but right now I am not seeing the good that will come out of this.

There is Sunshine in my Soul! :) So Share it!

Why is it that when we get down we just shout , scream, and cry foul. Sometimes from the mountain tops, other times on the big world of the web, and sometimes just to any that will listen? But when we have "Sunshine in our Souls" we do not always take the chance to be heard and spread the word of the Gospel and love that it puts into our lives?

I was thinking I did a lot of complaining in my trails this past year and told all that would listen. But now that I totally feel like a new person and have made myself right in spirit. How is it that now I am happy in heart, that I am more out to try and say high to someone I see or go out and about and be happy . BUT I lack what I should be doing ....And this is spreading the word and make others as happy as I currently feel. Am I scared someone may suck the happiness out of me? I am just so happy and I am OK so I don't wan tto rock the boat? Or is it that I have talked so much about my empty heart to everyone that I feel like I need to stop and soak in the sunshine and shut my mouth? Not really sure .....but I think it maybe that when we are upset we scream to all and when we are happy we tend to act like it is riches and wealth and we keep it to our selves not knowing how long it will last until the next trail comes our way. But today I decided that sharing and caring will keep the "Sunshine in my Soul" and if I share a little I will get 10 fold back . Even filling my heart more until truly my heart will burst of God's loves for all. So I am spreading my Sunshine and I hope that when you come into contact with me that you leave me feeling better then you arrived. Is the Gospel not the greatest thing in our lives? I just love it!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Surgery is over and old age!

So on March 19th I finally had the surgery. a few set backs but it is over! I cannot believe how much better I feel. I had almost no pain at all. Which I think is amazing. I had the surgery done with a robot and that alone is amazing! I am glad to feel about 95% better ands it has been almost 2 weeks. i just cannot lift and I am suffering from the Lupron shot still. Hopefully on Friday I get the shot to start the estrogen back into my body! then all will be great. I read a post from a old high school friend on face book this week.. This is what she posted. Something to think about...We will all get old (hopefully) How do you want to do that? How will you want to live? How will you want to experience a world that feels younger then you? How will you support yourself? Randi Weber. Wow ....is all I could think when I read that posting. That really made me think. I know my answers to all. I know what I want but ....How will I want to experience a world that feels younger then I? That really made me think. I know that the world in my teens was such a fun time but I also see now that i so did not have a clue like I thought i did. In my 20's the world seemed so much older to me. I loved also being in my 20's. I remember thinking that I was excited for the 30's. And it is was a good time in life for me. I grew so much learned and felt confident in being me. ( the 3o yrs) . The world still felt so old to me. I was young and everyone around was older and was so knowledgeable. I learned so much in the 30yrs stage. In my 40's, I have had hard times with teenagers, and great times with friends, family, and just being alive. But the world does not feel so old to me anymore. When I sat in church during my 20's and 30's everyone was so much older then ken and I. I looked at all the people that were ready to retire and those with great careers and life being set for allot of people. They had it made is what I thought. Now seeing that it was not so much made as it was they were content and as your kids start to leave home life is so much different. a calmer peaceful time comes into this stage of life. Grand kids are amazing and they really make life enjoyable beyond words. Now I am 46 and I am changing. At church I feel like one of the older ones. Yes there is still older then I but there are so many young people . New mothers, and allot less older then I and allot more younger then I. I see things different. I look at the new moms and the I see a fun time in life but I am grateful for the stage in life I am in now. Almost a empty Nester, have grand kids, and feel a peacefulness that you just do not have in your early years of marriage and starting a family. I think the biggest thing that you gain is patience, more love and knowledge. I would not like to go back in years. i really like growing older. I am not sure why I may be weird but i love it. Life is such a great experience. i have time to do the things i want now, the means to be able to do what I want, and the desire to make a difference and be a better person. I look at all the things I have done in my life time, all the people i have met, all the opportunities I have had. I love it! I look back and sure there are things I would change but just learning from choices and experiences make life what it is for me now. I mostly think that experiencing the world that feels so much younger then I in 20 years from now is going to be one of the best opportunities there are in this life. i am excited. i want to learn and get to know more people. I want to grow old with Ken and look back at the end of each day and be happy for the ride. I look back now and I get more and more happy for the ride each day. I have learned to enjoy the ride, love the experience, and learn from the hurts, the hard times, and the disappointments in life. I also have such great joy in my life from family, the great experiences, and life lessons. Wow I think is more of the journey to come " The Places I will go" Dr. S. I love that book. I think now at growing old and I think.. "The places I will go" The things I will experience" and The journey that I am ready to embark on". I am at a different stage in life this year it feels like. I am ready to embrace the future , learn from the past, and keep moving on the journey. I long for the days of getting old. Don't get me wrong i want to experience the now. But I am excited for the days of Ken and I. I want to enjoy life at every stage. i think after Randi's post I know what i want from a world that is much younger then I. and what I want in my old age. and it feels great to be moving forward and getting older.

Our Month of Love, Birthday, and braking up with my DR. :)

This month is going by so fast. We have actually been busy and celebrating Valentines and My Birthday. I love the month of February. My birthday last most of the month and we always go on a small weekend trip. It has been so cold this winter that all I wanted was to warm up.
I have finally got a date with my Dr. He has decided that we have been seeing each other for long enough and on March 24th, he is going to get my surgery done and we are going to part ways. It was as much fun as it could be for as long as it lasted. We all knew that this was going to happen. So I am scared but it is time to get this done. I had a shot that shrinks the Fibroid and puts me into the worst state of mind and body a person could be in. We are talking Lupron. The killer of all killers. This has set me into menopause which really has made me decide that my relationship with the Dr. is just not working out. I need to get the surgery done and call it quits. :) So until March 24th i will have night sweats and feel like my body is aching for no reason but to shrink the fibroid. I will tell you that I am pretty sure that even though menopause has it benefits that I really want to not ever go through this again.
So for the fun stuff. This month we went to the Ice Castles up in Midways with the bushman's. It was really fun and the ice is really pretty all lit up at night. A fun night out with the family and fun with friends. It had been awhile since we went any where with the Bushman's so it was a fun time. We have been friends with the Bushman's for a long time and I honestly have to say that they are great people and I am a better person for having got to know them.
I had a girls night out this month that I really needed and we just visited and had fun catching up and talking about our lives. God has blessed me with great friends that I can call on when I need a time out with girls.
This month I also received a few presents through the month. Clothes, jewelry, and a trip to St George for the long weekend. Valentines was today and I received a few more gifts and as always Ken knows me best and he did a great job picking out presents. I only want some new perfume and I should let him off for the month of giving. He really goes with my Birthday Month and I love him for it. I was at my Parents house this weekend and I was able to have a great time with them and my Uncle Jim and Aunt Myrna. They are all awesome people. I am blessed with allot of great people in mine and my families life.
I have to say this month has been awesome. I am married to a great man and my family makes me happy. I love to be with them. Times can be hard with the kids and the things they may be going through but all in all life is great and I am very blessed.
We were in St George and the weather was so great. I just loved it. I am wondering why I cannot move there. But Ken's job needs to be by the city so until we can retire I guess I am stuck in the city of COLD!. But summer will be here soon. I have to say that life is great and things I needed to lay to rest are rested, friends that i needed to see have been visited, and people I love know I love them. So for a month that is only half over, it seems to be headed in the right direction.
I just need to start my next goal and it starts tomorrow so wish me luck and I will be crossing more off my goal list for the new year soon.
Love you all. Thanks to all those that bless ours lives.

Sunday!

I have always loved Sundays. I like that it feels like a day of rest, the peacefulness that comes to your mind, heart, and soul, and most of all the love I feel from my FAMILY! It is the best feeling to see your kids walk in the door on a Sunday Afternoon! We all are together again. We laugh, talk, and even sometimes cry. As your kids get older and there are less living at home it can sometimes feel lonely. I hate lonely.

This past year was a hard year with change. Nic moved out, Chrissy got a divorce, and we had to take a break from life as we knew it. So much had gone on in one year that it felt like to much! As things have calmed we have worked our way back out to the world and see that no matter what Family is most important. Not that we did not know this before,. But that no matter what anyone else says, does, or thinks. Our Family is what counts.

People like to gossip, people like to point fingers, and people do not like to forgive. Well some do. But why is it that the ones that are the most lethal are the ones that stand out front and center. But if you bother to look a little to the left or a little to the right you can see all the other wonderful people standing behind them. But in the heat of the moment they are just there? I am not sure why. Is it our anger, pride, or lack of knowledge because of a hurtful cloudy mind? I think mostly because we do not take the time to look. We judge and only see what is dead center in front of us. I think this is where Christ Like Behavior is not always easy to choose. If I could choose the right every time I would be perfect. but we all know I am not.

I was listening to a talk about being hurtful or being hurt by others. We sometimes think before reacting but mostly react before thinking. How many times do you think..? oh I could have done different with that situation but do not go back and try to fix it. I think we learn from the mistake of our reactions but we do not always let the person we hurt know that. It is just as important to learn as it is to say I am sorry.

I am so excited for new beginnings and new relationships. Life is sweet if we stop to savor the taste. Sometimes we are to busy but this year I want to taste life, savor the the goodness it has to offer and not be quick to judge. I want to treat others the way I want to be treated and love all of God's Children. Not just the ones that are easy to love but the hard ones too.